-_-;

-_-;

Well. Um. I don't think this is a good idea, but it'll have to do. Funny how easily I'm swayed by others, some times. Eh.

And my teacher is an idiot.

Fire, fire, wind is a liar, and it won't stop till they retire.

Man. This happens every time the Santa Ana winds get too intense and some random fire starts. Last time it happened was four years ago. Those Cedar fires. And now everything north of me is in danger of burning down, or already has been burnt...including Melanie's house. I'm not gonna say anything else about her.

Antoinette didn't come to school, and I was panicking all day when I didn't see her at lunch. I illegally went on myspace to leave her a comment and to wait for her to hopefully reply...but it didn't work. Her cell phone got disconnected, and she doesn't have a house phone...so I couldn't call her. I called Linh to see if she was ok, and she was. She told me about Antoinette's phone predicament. But when I got home, I left her a comment. She replied, and I felt relieved. I know she lives in Clairemont, and that's not too far north from my house. But the fires are moving closer and closer to La Jolla, which is where my school is.. They were about 20 minutes away from us when we were leaving to go home..

Diana's family is being evacuated, and she's worried about everyone else. She and Ricardo keep posting these depressing bulletins, telling us all to be safe. And how we'll  be in their prayers, etc etc... I'm worried enough as it is. But I can't do anything unless someone calls me. My phone has been glued to my side all day. And...I'm nervous for them. All of the schools in San Diego are going to be closed tomorrow. Probably for the rest of the week, as well. But I want to see Antoinette. I was looking forward to sitting in the library with her while listening to music since UCSD is closed and I didn't have to go to my internship.

Oh...for some reason, I'm not at all scared for my life, or my belongings. Just my friends. Because if I don't have them...I can't say that I have very much at all.

Madness...

Uhhh

1st - Principles of Engineering. Mr. Rupert. I like how the pitch in his voice goes up and down while he talks. It's quite amusing, actually. Mixture of all high school kids in this class. Dunno who will be with me.

2nd - Japanese II. Pack-sensei. Had her last year for Jap I. She was pretty cool. We'll see if this class is any harder. Minh the bad will most likely sit next to me here.

3rd - Internship. Ms. Kaler. *cringe* I really do not like this woman... She was my 10th grade English teacher, and she thought the poems I wrote for the class were the best ones she had ever read. But she's such a schitzo, I swear she is. No 'sitting' in this class. I just go to an Internship.

4th - AP Chemistry. Mr. Flesock. Never had him, but a lot of girls are excited to be in his class. He's gorgeous, they say. Meh. Ann will probably sit next to me.

5th - AP English Literature and Composition. Ms. Gabay. Everyone's told me that she's mean. She seems alright to me, though. I sit next to Melanie. >.>  But she's oddly nice to me these days. This should be a very fun class..

6th - Calculus. Mr. Weber. He's CANADIAN! I love his accent. I sit next to...Hongvan. Funny girl. She's only a Junior, and she's really smart. I met her through...the piano, two years ago, as wierd as that sounds.

7th - Advisory/Senior Seminar/University Prep/Whatever you wanna call it... Ms. Ippolito. 7th year I've had her for this class. Not too much to say about her. She's cool. No one sits next to me, but Julie's in front of me.

8th - AP U.S. Government and Politics. Mr. Ramos. Ahhh...yeah, he's Latino. He's alright. Likes to go off on tangents whenever he's explaining things, though. Ehh.. whatever. I sit next to Ann. She likes to poke fun at my introverted attitude. Yeah.. and Ximena sits in front of me. That girl's always putting on make-up. And Montse sits next to her. I didn't know Montserrat was a volcano..

I have all of my books, and I have homework for 3 out of the 4 classes I had today - the last 4. Blocks 5, 6, 7, and 8. Tomorrow I have 1, 2, 3, and 4.  Today was very...different. Everyone's back, but I still feel kind of isolated from them all. I'm not sure why.

I'm a Senior... time goes by so quickly.

The Xanga people made me change the password to this thing so it'll be 'more secure.' And so I changed it, but I got the most wonderful idea to not tell the original owner of this site the new password. But I will tell her eventually. Not yet, though. I know that's not fair to her, but I've already told her this before - I'm better at expressing myself when I think no one's listening. Same thing applies to what I write. It's easier to write things in here when I know that no one except myself can read them unless I desire otherwise. And we're not even going to be able to talk directly for some months, so I might as well...get used to it.

School starts on Tuesday. I'm finally a Senior. College applications, scholarships, internships, community service, Senior exhibition, and lots of...great classes. But, the best part is that I'll be able to practice the piano again. I swear I'm going to buy one for myself the second I find a place of my own when I'm done with college. So...yeah. Never thought I'd see the day when I'm this close to being done with high school.

I also made a promise to her last year. And I'm still going to keep it. I told her that I'd do my best for her. No excuses. Even though she said that I should only do this if it's what I truly want for myself, I have to do it for her. Because...I am happy when I do things for other people I'm close to. That is how I accomplish things for myself. It's just so  hard to keep believing that it's worth it, sometimes. But as long as I remind myself of our friendship, and our memories, then it shouldn't be too hard. This optimism tends to fade as the school year drags on, but I've learned a lot about her in a very short time. So I think that will help. And I quit playing Final Fantasy XI for the time being. Too time consuming. And it doesn't help me with school at all, so why do I need it? I should be focusing on other things..

We'll see how things turn out. I'll let you know how it went when I graduate. Until then, take care. I'll miss her every single day, too. Hopefully it won't get too bad..

~Ryu.

HA!

HAHAHA.

Okay.

So I went crazy and deleted a lot of posts here. I don't want to explain why I did it. Just know that I did. (Not Jael)

AHAHAHA. I think I've gone insane. Something something drive me insane...it's not that far away. I remember Sogi making some reference to a line that went like that some years ago. *nodnod*

Last summer, I updated this place every night/morning because insomnia was doing its thing and not letting me sleep till 5 in the morning. It's midnight now...only 5 more hours of doing NOTHING! Oh, oh - I'm addicted to eye drops. Clear Eyes for Dry Eyes. I think I'm more monotone than the guy in the commercial... anyways - my mom's been accusing me of having abnormally red eyes. Have I been on the computer too much? Playing too many video games? Reading too much? YES.

Consciousness...that annoying time between naps. And summer...that annoying time between school. I mean, when I'm in school I want nothing more than for summer to come. Okay, it's here now. Yay, nothing to do, no one to talk to, I'm feeling pissy because I'm wondering if I'm wasting my time....because I probably am. Oh oh oh. But I'll make it. Just one more year of hell before going through four more years of isolation, then three more years of pain...oh then what? Will I be 'there'? No, something will go horribly wrong and I won't be there.

EIGHT. 8. OCHO. HACHI. Years. Oho. That's like, half of my life right there. (I'm currently 16)

Oh... Geez.   This is such a ramble. I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm surprised I'm spelling most words correctly and using proper grammar. For the most part, anyway.

Allllllmost 17. This is the time when you have to hate the world and everyone around you who isn't worth your time. I never thought I'd turn in to one of those teenagers who's quiet and cynical for no good goddamn reason.

Bored, annoyed. I've read more fanfiction than I can stand and I'm tired of video games. I really need to go buy Final Fantasy XII. But because we don't have any moneeeeeey, I can't do that. 'I don't have money to do _____'  'We don't have the money for _____'    How depressing..

I'm going to go nostalgically look at my past for a few hours until I fall asleep. I'm not going to be this odd forever. I'll be fine in a few days, at the latest. Every now and then I start to feel a little...off. I started feeling this way around this time last year. Maybe it has to do with her...we're connected?

...nah.